A Good Line With High Extensions

Entries categorized as ‘relationships’

Utah Winter

December 26, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I suppose the shock

would have been less

If I had though less

of you.

I do now, of course

And I’m not confident the chill

will ever leave me

-

Utah winter reminds me of nothing.

I wondered for a while

if it would bring back New England

The snow plows of that tiny town

going down Main

and up Fisk

Walks past the River and the railroad tracks

-

These are commonplace memories.

I was hoping to recall

being alone for the first time

I was hoping to recall

my passion and innate sense of awe.

-

Delmore pleads with me

to “shake myself

and break the banal dream”

I am trying

I am working harder every day.

-

I am aware

of that “charged underground.. .

Caught in an anger

exact as a machine.”

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Aubade – Do you have one?

October 2, 2007 · 2 Comments

An Aubade is a song of the dawn, usually linked with the motif of waking lovers and their reluctant parting.

Aubade

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.

Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.

In time the curtain-edges will grow light.

Till then I see what’s really always there:

Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,

Making all thought impossible but how

And where and when I shall myself die.

Arid interrogation: yet the dread

Of dying, and being dead,

Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare.

Not in remorse-

The good not done, the love not given, time

Torn off unused – nor wretchedly because

An only life can take so long to climb

Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;

But at the total emptiness for ever,

The sure extinction that we travel to

And shall be lost in always.

Not to be here,

Not to be anywhere,

And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid

No trick dispels. Religion used to try,That vast, moth-eaten musical brocade

Created to pretend we never die,

And specious stuff that says

No rational being

Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing

That this is what we fear – no sight, no sound,

No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,

Nothing to love or link with,

The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,

A small, unfocused blur, a standing chill

That slows each impulse down to indecision.

Most things may never happen: this one will,

And realisation of it rages out

In furnace-fear when we are caught without

People or drink.

Courage is no good:

It means not scaring others.

Being brave

Lets no one off the grave.

Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.

It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,

Have always known, know that we can’t escape,

Yet can’t accept.

One side will have to go.

Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring

In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring

Intricate rented world begins to rouse.

The sky is white as clay, with no sun.

Work has to be done.

Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

-Philip Larkin

Aubade-

Hark! hark! the lark at heaven’s gate sings,

And Phoebus ‘gins arise,

His steeds to water at those springs

On chaliced flowers that lies;

And winking Mary-buds begin

To open their golden eyes:

With everything that pretty bin,

My lady sweet, arise!

Arise, arise!

-William Shakespeare-

Aubade

First minutes of morning.

You

about to call it a night, me

ready for another day.

The birds

loud, echoes in the stillness

of not-yet-day.

The neighbors’

shower water rumbling through walls

like half-heard promises.

Our bodies

stiff—yours too long at the computer,

mine from deep sleep.

We don’t speak.

So it is a surprise to hear

your deep “please,”

lips pressed to my ear,

to feel

water and hands cascade

down my body.

-Beverly Acuff Momoi

-Aubade

Not even the sky.

But a memory of sky,

and the blue of the earth

in your lungs.

Earthless earth: to watch

how the sky will enclose you, grow vast

with the words

you leave unsaid – and nothing

will be lost.

I am your distress, the seam

in the wall

that opens to the wind

and its stammering, storm

in the plural – this other name

you give your world: exile

in the rooms of home.

Dawn folds, fathers

witness,

the aspen and the ash

that fall. I come back to you

through this fire, a remnant

of the season to come,

and will be to you

as dust, as air,

as nothing

that will not haunt you.

In the place before breath

we feel our shadows cross.

-Paul Auster-

Aubade

My joy is the same as twelve holsteins

Standing in the morning light

Ugly Ragged Not clean

Like the thin cry of a calf

Like an angel sinking it’s teeth into my throat

The long windows open

The sidewalks puddle underfoot

Black and white winters

The pace steady, undefined

Under a street-lamp and off into ongoingness

An irregular wind brushes my curtains aside

A whirlwind of rotten fabric

Bursting from the nostrils

To float

Before they fall.

-Emily Christensen (My Aubade)-

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